The LuxMob Info Tags

Technically, there are two types of grief groups. Informational and support groups are for individuals who have an interest in the grief process. The purpose of these groups is to promote grief education and awareness. It covers the grief process in a more academic fashion.

The second type of grief group is a process and personal growth oriented group focusing on facilitating the individual participant’s own personal loss management. It is therapeutic in nature and can take many different forms including: Individuals, Couples, Father’s, Mother’s, Siblings, and Family groups. Each group typically focuses on a specific type of loss (death-loss, suicide, homicide, SIDS, divorce, etc) as well as the unique needs of the group members. Though many commonalities exist between these groups each has its own unique dynamics and concerns. We will be focusing on this type of group, sometimes referred to as Grief Recovery groups. I prefer the term “Grief Management”.

Before we can help people manage their grief, we need to understand the term “manage.” Manage can mean to succeed in doing something, especially something that seems difficult or impossible. The intransitive verb means to survive or continue despite difficulties, especially a lack of resources. Both of these variant meanings apply to managing grief. “Healing” on the other hand implies a restoration to a former state. Though we are talking semantics, it is important to understand that loss leaves a permanent void; a permanent part of the survivor is missing, never to be restored.

Grief

Grief is characterized by confusion in which it is difficult to pinpoint feelings. Dozens of emotional reactions occur simultaneously. Analyzing the parts of grief can help the person to segregate one feeling from another. Once a feeling is identified, it can be expressed. It can be brought out into the open where healing takes place.

Grief not only causes many physical reactions, but it is accompanied by many practical, social, philosophical, and spiritual problems as well. A person may not receive or expect to receive answers to the problems, but he/she should certainly have the chance to voice the questions. There are answers and solutions to many problems in grief. When time is taken to do problem solving, the instances of unresolved grief are reduced.

Given proper support, grievers are enabled to move to a state of peace and acceptance. This is the goal of Grief Management groups.

Group Leaders/Facilitators:

When working with grieving individuals in a group, you must be clear about your role in the process. As grief facilitators we assume important responsibilities. The bereaved should be able to expect a high degree of professionalism from us. It is necessary for us to have a working knowledge of the grief process, group dynamics, and the impact significant loss has on the psyche. Active listening and helping skills are extremely important. We listen empathetically to their stories, give validation, interpret the emotional content, and translate it into the language of grief.

All Grief Facilitators must:

Be open to what grievers can teach you about grief and mourning. Understand that the focus of attention during group is on each member’s journey through their own particular grief work. The group exists for their benefit. Our job is to create the environment, set the course, and steer the group process within the boundaries of mutual respect and purposeful dialogue. It is beneficial to everyone to stay “on task” and “on topic.”

Accept all group members unconditionally, “as they are.” We are not there to “do therapy” with them. We cannot take away their pain or in any way “fix” their lives. Each person’s viewpoint is appropriate because it is formed from his or her own personal knowledge and experiences with life up to this moment in time. Our job is to listen without judging and offer new understanding and perspective. We can validate their feelings as they tell about their experiences. We can help them to externalize their thoughts. We can assist with bringing feelings to the surface. We can facilitate expression in the language of grief.

Be open to the idea that most often it is within the context of sharing and discussion that we also teach. For example, we may use what a mother shares as a way to teach the common denominators of grief and mourning. As facilitators we may ask: “Has anyone else felt like Saundra feels?” or “feelings of isolation are experienced by many people, Nicole, tell us more about how it feels for you,” or “It sounds like what Grant is saying about feeling guilty is similar to Gail’s experience. Can anyone else add to that?” or “What other feelings are a normal part of grieving?”

Our expectation is that this kind of interactive sharing will bring them new information, new experience, and new insight that will promote positive healing. The main aspect to remember though is to “keep the ball in their court.” It is their life, their feelings, and their job to do the grief work. Be attuned to each griever, to the feelings behind his/her words, and to the overall atmosphere in the room. We want each participant to have an equal chance to be heard. Each participant deserves the full attention of the group while sharing. We make every effort to include everyone in all activities and discussions, while still allowing them the freedom to refrain or “pass” if they choose.

Recognize that your role is to help the bereaved understand and then move through the tasks of grief. Covering this agenda is desirable; however, “the best laid plans” may go out the window in favor of the agenda that the griever brings to the session. It is important to work through their immediate concerns and burdens. We want to stay flexible. We remind ourselves that we can almost always expect unfinished business at the end of each session. In my experience and in the experience of many colleagues, it has been found that planned topics, tasks, and curriculum ultimately get covered in a natural and spontaneously relevant way.

Be willing to share your role as facilitator. As your group evolves, some members will probably exert themselves as unofficial co-facilitators. Encourage them. Go with the immediate flow (dynamic). The skill, of course, is to intervene and redirect when the dynamic is not healthy.

Understand that the atmosphere of each group session may be distinctively varied. The temperaments, personalities, and experiences of everyone present will be significant factors in how the group interacts. Do not be surprised or discouraged by the variations in the mood from one session to the next. Sometimes we worry that no “progress” is being made or that we have “lost control.” Other times the group is so quiet that it is like “pulling teeth” to get a response or, in contrast, they may digress to any other topic rather than “deal with the grief.” It is frustrating! We continually relearn to deal with our lofty expectations by replacing them with more gentle assessments of what is being accomplished. Each group can have a different flavor and still be highly effective, even if at the onset we had our doubts that the group would ever “gel.” Our own hindsight and the members’ evaluations at the end of the series often reveal and affirm the value of each group’s process.

A Word of Caution

There is a fine line between strong group facilitating and strong-arming or dominating your group. While members will appreciate your nurturing leadership, they will not appreciate too tight a rein on the group’s interaction. Sometimes that means letting the group dynamic dictate what will happen next. Other times your “gentle firmness” will be welcomed as you guide the group in discussion.

I have found the most effective facilitators in grief management groups lead unobtrusively but firmly. That is, they are warm and responsive and at the same time they make others feel comfortable that someone is “in charge.”

Rev. Saundra L. Washington, D.D., is an ordained clergywoman, veteran social worker, and Founder of AMEN Ministries. She is also the author of two coffee table books: Room Beneath the Snow: Poems that Preach and Negative Disturbances: Homilies that Teach which can be reviewed on her site. Her new book, Out of Deep Waters: My Grief Management Workbook, is expected to be available in July.

You are welcome to visit AMEN Ministries: Your Souls’ service Station for spiritual refreshing, soul edification or to browse our newly expanded mini shopping mall. http://www.clergyservices4u.org

Blessings to all!

The waist is the area most targeted by physical exercise, since
most people wish to get rid of excess fat and to develop firmer
abdominal muscles. There are several exercises that help you
develop abdominal muscles.

Let’s begin with a muscle group that most ignore - the
transverse abdominous. Although this is an internal muscle and
is not visible, it has high importance in torso mobility. You
can work this muscle by developing a good breathing technique
while doing other exercises. Simply allow air to fill your lungs
and thoracic area and then exhale. Not only will this help
strengthen the transversal abdominal muscle but it will also
give you more energy for the other exercises.

Crunches are among the best exercises, since they involve a
large array of muscles, both abdominal and lower back ones. Try
a vertical leg crunch at first: do your abdominal crunches while
holding your legs pointing upwards. By curling your torso up and
reaching with your hands towards the tips of your toes, you give
your abs an excellent workout. Repeating this motion several
times is difficult and you will need to practice the exercise
for a while before you feel like you are beginning to master it.
Another option would be to do the regular crunches in a very
strict manner: hold your back stuck to the ground and contract
your muscles as you do the crunch. There is a huge difference
between simply performing the crunch motion like a robot would
and actually getting involved in each individual crunch by
contracting the ab muscles each and every time.

Exercising is difficult, but patience goes a long way. Do not
expect overnight results, or you will quickly get discouraged
and fall back into apathy. One of the hardest things about doing
ab exercises is that you run short of breath. Loosing breath
tires the body instantly, and, basically, the intensity and
positive effects of your workout depend a lot on the way you
breathe.

Yoga is probably the best answer to breathing techniques. You
don’t have to follow a strict yoga path in order to get positive
results: just try a few of the asanas - special yoga techniques
and poses - and see what that does to your breathing. Deep
breathing can get more oxygen in your blood system, thus
allowing you to workout more intensely and for a longer period,
without losing breath or getting very tired.

Getting those love handles off and developing a nice, firm
abdominal area is the quest of many, women and men alike.
However, the biggest problem that comes into play with physical
exercises is that they take a long time to produce results and
they are difficult to perform. Because of these two obstacles,
many begin their training program only to drop it after a week
or a month, justifying their decision on lack of results or
increased difficulty. As with most physical changes, taking fat
of and developing muscles takes time, and there is no shortcut
to doing it. Your best allies are perseverance and maybe a
friend who will inspire you with his or her determination to
stick with the exercise program.

In today’s ever-expanding world of business on an ever-shrinking planet, not only is it easy to market your organization’s products and services globally, but it is also just good business sense. With the prevalence of the Internet in every aspect of our English-speaking culture and society, it makes sense to reach out globally and put your products and/or services out for the whole world to take advantage of. Though it seems like the Internet has reduced the size of our world, marked cultural and language barriers still exist which make marketing a product or service from an English-speaking organization to a foreign market an immense challenge. In order to succeed globally, you must consider foreign language translation as a necessary faction of your organization. Whether you are considering opening offices internationally, or you just want to make your services available to foreign markets, consider employing the services of a professional foreign language translation firm in order to make every aspect of your business (both electronic and paper-based) understandable and user-friendly to whatever nationality you decide to promote your business to.

In order to fully make the most of the foreign expansion of your business, you might want to open offices in other countries in addition to providing services and products via the Internet. This might require you to hire staff members in those countries who are not native English speakers. Though this will no doubt be a benefit in helping your organization immerse itself into another culture, and help your products and/or services gain a foothold there, it will also prove challenging in trying to adapt your organization’s policies and procedures to a group of employees that will not be able to read manuals and documents in English, and not understand some of the informal grammar. For this reason, hiring a foreign language translation organization is a sensible business decision.

A foreign language translation firm typically employs native speakers from many different countries. Not only do their employees have an inherent grasp on one or more foreign languages, but they are also fluent in the English language. In addition, it is possible to hire staff that are specialists in particular areas of business, which helps to facilitate translations and allows the translators to convert your materials into understandable, relevant, and culturally sensitive documents. For your business, translators can adapt software, training and development materials, web sites, and internal organization documentation. Foreign language translation firms utilize the latest software that will translate documentation into nearly every language on Earth, as well as translate documentation into English, so that the lines of communication will be open and unhindered. Many different fields of industry utilize foreign language translation firms, including the medical field, the legal field, the computer industry, and of course, the business and marketing fields.

If you are considering the global development of your business, educating yourself on the cultures of those countries you plan to approach is very important. There are often strict differences among countries, even if they are neighbors to one another. There are also often strict differences between English-speaking and non-English-speaking countries. Being sensitive to other cultural standards will help you to understand the business climate of whatever country you want to expand your business into. This is of utmost importance for successful expansion into non-English-speaking countries. For that reason, taking advantage of one of the many online foreign language translators that are available is a sensible method of education for yourself and your organization. There are several web page translators that are available online for free. Taking the time to research the demands of your potential customers will pay off for you in the long run.

For worldwide expansion of your business, there is no more sensible decision to make than to employ a foreign language translation organization to tend to the conversion of all of your English-based business documents into whatever foreign language you need. And taking the time to research the non-English speaking markets you wish to expand into will help you understand the cultural climates you intend to take your products and/or services into. Foreign language translators make the transition into the global business community easier for your business. www.foreign-languages-school.com

Find the essential information on where and how to learn a new or second language at Foreign Language Translation

John is a director of numerous Internet companies and is a published author. Many articles have been produced on a variety of subjects with excellent content and depth. All his articles may be reproduced provided that an active link is included to www.foreign-languages-school.com

Language Schools

On the three days from April 30 through Friday, May 2, 2003,
the FTC (Federal Trade Commission) held a “Spam Forum” in
Washington, D.C.

According to the FTC website, the purpose of this forum was “to
address the proliferation of unsolicited commercial e-mail and
to explore the technical, legal, and financial issues associated
with it.”

While the FTC and other government entities try to figure out
how they can legally address the Spam issue, they are doing so
without consulting with those of us who run small businesses
online. Of the 97 people who spoke at the forum, the majority
was technicians and lawyers who represent the ISP’s and
Anti-Spam companies. A few of the people even represented large
bulk email companies.

Forum participants could not even agree on a proper definition
of “spam” — yet they propose that they are the best qualified
to help write the laws that will eliminate spam?

My question is this, who represented the small business owner
and the small publishers at the FTC spam forum? No one really.
It was not because the small business segment did not have
representatives willing to speak on their behalf. In fact, both
I-Cop.org and OMPUAC.org — both of whom represent small online
businesses — had petitioned to have their representatives
speak at the forum, but both were turned down.

You can read the list of the people who DID speak at the FTC
“Spam Forum” at:

http://www.theezine.net/ftc_spam_forum.shtml

Should you honestly believe the anti-spam profiteers had your
interests in mind when they had the opportunity to speak to the
FTC?

Here are some of the anti-spam profiteers who found
representation at the FTC “Spam Forum”:

· Mail Abuse Prevention System (MAPS) · SpamCon Foundation ·
SpamCop · The Spamhaus Project · Habeas

Even in the hallowed lists of the anti-spam zealots, the
profiteers aren’t taken very seriously sometimes. When
addressing Anne P. Mitchell, Esq., CEO of Habeas, Inc., a member
of the SPAM-L list suggested:

“What makes you think that ‘we’ trust Habeas any more than any
other organisation whose business model depends on spam
continuing to exist in order to stay in business.”

Good point.

William Waggoner, founder of AAW Marketing LLC in Las Vegas,
Nevada, did actually support my own point of view. He suggested
at the “Spam Forum” that technology techniques like spam
filtering hurts even legitimate email marketers!

You know whom Mr. Waggoner was talking about. He was talking
about those e-mail marketers who have actually acquired
permission from the email recipient to send them commercial
email.

When someone in the forum audience laughed at his comment,
Waggoner fired back, “You think that’s funny?”

So why did they laugh? This gets to the heart of why the FTC
Spam Forum was bad news for the legitimate email marketer. Many
anti-spam zealots do not believe that there is such a thing as
“legitimate commercial email!”

TERM: Double Opt-in - Requires a subscriber to request a
subscription and then to verify the intention to subscribe by
following a defined procedure.

Even if publishers who now require “double opt-in” subscriptions
were to ask for and keep records of “quadruple opt-in”
verifications from their subscribers, a lot of anti-spam zealots
would still cry foul!

Why else would the terms *s*u*b*s*c*r*i*b*e* and *u*n*s*u*b-
*s*c*r*i*b*e* be included in many spam filters with the implied
suggestion that email that carries this terminology MUST be spam?

It does no good to be able to prove double opt-in to the ISP’s
and the anti-spam zealots. Most presuppose that any commercial
email is likely to be spam.

The ISP’s are honestly concerned with the cost of bandwidth in
association with email. Estimates have put the monthly cost of
spam to be $3 per month per email account. Thus, if ISP’s can
reduce or eliminate spam, they can reduce their costs and
improve their profits.

ISP’s who oppose all commercial email — you know, the kind who
laugh at the suggestion that spam filters hurt “legitimate email
marketers” — think one step further. They believe that if they
can eliminate all commercial email, then they can significantly
reduce their costs and significantly improve their profits!

At every level of the Internet food-chain, people are concerned
with their own profits. The anti-spam zealots, who had the most
pronounced representation at the FTC spam forum, will profit
handsomely from the loss of commercial email… Or will they?

Without commercial enterprise on the Internet, will people still
be flocking to the web in the numbers they are today?

Recognizing the fact that the filtering industry is destroying
email commerce, people like Anne P. Mitchell of Habeas, Inc.
have come running to the assistance of online commercial
businesses. For a price, Habeas will “whitelist” your
publication or email — or should I say for a hefty price,
Habeas will “whitelist” your email!

TERM: Whitelist - This is a kind of filter that suggests that
any email that meets the whitelist definitions will be
pre-verified (under the terms of the whitelist company) as
legitimate commercial email.

Habeas purports to offer a “value-added service” that will help
your outgoing email reach its destination unobstructed. Habeas
also purports its fees to be very reasonable — up to $500 per
mailing list per year. Is $500 really a “reasonable” price? I
don’t think so.

As consumers, we always think of the “spam war” as something
that addresses the unsolicited email from the p*o*r*n industry,
the nutritional products industry, and other fly-by-night
scammers.

Yet, when the people who are speaking on our behalf in the halls
of government think of the “spam war”, they are thinking of
something else entirely. In fact, they are attempting to remove
the cash from the pockets of not only the spammers, but also the
small business people who employ legitimate email marketing
techniques.

Why do so many anti-spam zealots target all commercial email?
Simple, they want to put the cash where THEY think it belongs
— into their own pockets!

Orange smoothies are really delicious and this fruit-filled recipe for Orange Fruity Smoothie is one of the reasons why. You’ve gotta love a drink that has wonderful fruits like banana, peach, raspberries and mixes them with nutritious orange juice.

Fruit smoothies are good for you and you will make this Orange Fruity Smoothie again and again.

Orange Fruity Smoothie

• 1 medium banana, peeled and cut into 1-inch pieces
• 1 ripe peach, peeled, halved, pitted and diced
• 1 cup raspberries
• 1 1/2 cups freshly squeezed orange juice
• 3 ice cubes

Directions

Combine all ingredients in blender and blend until smooth.

About The Author

Copyright 2004

Donna Monday

Easy to make – fun to drink

http://www.1st-milkshake-n-smoothie-recipes.com

I’m going to tell you about a great service I use a lot and I’d like to see you use it too. Its free and it has lots of benefits and advantages.

It is to be found at mailtracking and once you sign up for it and start using it you will understand its benefits real well.

If you use it and send me an email (for example) you will get a report back that tells you when I opened your email, how long it took me to read it and if I open it, read it and close it then open it again later it wil also tell you that.

If I were to forward your email to anyone else it would tell you I did that, when that person opened it and how long they took to read it.

There are other bells and whistles too. You can do a pretty fair job of customization once you get into the configuration menus.

The one thing you want to watch out for is that you don’t demand that I send you an email receipt for opening your emails. Some of you do that now and I never hit the send button. The reason I don’t acknowledge receipt is that my firewall won’t let me do it for some strange reason. With mailtracking you don’t need that because you are going to get a receipt anyway.

Now then, let me explain the whys and wherefores bit more. Let us assume that you send me an email and I don’t answer it. Why would I ignore your emails? Well, I usually wouldn’t but sometimes when deleting some to the junk emails I get a “key bounce” effect and more than one email gets deleted. The one that got unintentionly deleted might very well have been your email. I probably would not have any way of responding to you since I don’t keep email address books because of the virus problems.

Then maybe I don’t get back to you because I’m extremely busy from time to time and your email gets shoved down the stack of constantly incoming emails and goes by unnoticed, and you don’t get the service we both want you to have.

Now then, with mail tracking you know exactly when I opened your email or if I didn’t even open it. You know that I want to give you the very best service possible and you know that I want to get your email answered within 24 hours if at all possible. That means that if I don’t answer you within 24 hours something has gone wrong. What might have gone wrong? As we all know, anything can go wrong with email. You make a typo and I don’t get it but for whatever reason you don’t get a mailer daemon return from it, So there you sit, getting madder by the hour. And I am oblivious to what has happened.

If you use mailtracking.com service lots of that frustration can be eliminated. You can send me another email if I don’t answer within 24 hours so you can be sure to get my attention and some action going for you.

If I open the email you will know when I opened it and if I don’t get back to you within 24 hours you will know it is time to start calling me or asking me what for and why.

Use it for sending email to other businesses for the same reasons. And use it with friends, relatives and whoever for the same reasons. It isn’t about trying to track them down or stalk anyone although you could come pretty close with the pro version I use. I could not use it to find your house and actually drive right up to your front door except by accident. In order to actually do that I would have to know your actual address but lacking that I could drive right up to your door, sit there in front of your house and look around me and wonder which house was really yours and not know I was sitting right in front of it. And why on earth would I want to do that anyway?

I use it because I want to know that you got what I sent you and so why wouldn’t you use it for the same reason?

I think it can be used when sending payments by paypal too. I’d like you to start trying to use it when sending in a payment. That would make sure you sent it to bbauer1@netzero.net and not to bbauer@netzero.com or some other bad address and if you did that you would have a way to track the mistake and get your money back faster so you can send it to the right address.

You don’t even have to sign up for their service to start using it. All you have to do is send an email to someone such as ceo@creditwrench.mailtracking.com and mailtracker will immediately pick up on that and send you back a confirmation telling you that they opened a free temporary account for you. Then you can follow the links in that and go sign up and customize your settings and start using it. Their pro version is only about $40 a year and I think that is well worth it when you send out as many emails as I do.

Security and service are important to all of us and this tool heightens both of those a whole lot. Get it and try it. I think you will like it.

Mr. Bauer is the CEO of Credit Wrench. The true purpose of the CREDITWRENCH program is to teach you how to recognize abuse of your rights by unscrupulous debt collectors and combat such abuse when it happens to you. It is not designed to be a credit repair program nor a debt repair program although it’s easily possible to use it for those purposes.

Submitted with Article Distributor.

With search engines like Google currently indexing over 8 billion pages, it is becoming more and more difficult to get a top search engine ranking. Type in a popular search phrase such as “Internet Marketing” into Yahoo or Google and you will be returned over 8 million results!

Unless your website is in the first two or three pages, it is unlikely that you will receive many visitors from search engines.

So what should a webmaster do to give their website the best chance of ranking high in the search engines?

All search engines work slightly differently and have ever changing algorithms for ranking web pages, but these tips can be applied when planning, developing or marketing a website to help you reach that top page of search engine results.

(1) Choose your keywords carefully

It’s extremely important to set aside time to research your keywords. It’s best to do this in the planning stages, before developing your website, but many of us start a website without knowing a thing about how the search engines work, so you may find yourself doing this weeks or months later.

Try to choose phrases that are searched on frequently and if possible have a low number of competing websites.

To get an idea of the number of times a keyword is searched for per month, type a keyword into the box at

Overture Search Suggestion Tool

This will tell you how many times your keyword was searched on in the previous month (based on Overture’s partner search engines) and give you a list of similar keywords.

Another useful tool to help you choose your keywords is Word Tracker. This tool will help you choose your keywords and give you a “KEI” for each set of keywords based on the popularity of the keyword (number of searches) and the amount of competition.

You can try this out for free on Wordtracker

If you manage to pick your keywords in the planning stages you may even be lucky enough to find a domain name that contains your keywords.

(2) Optimise your pages

Once you have decided on your keywords you will need to optimise your pages for those keywords. Here are a few tips.

- Ensure that the Title of your page contains your keywords.

- Mention your keywords inside the meta tags. Most search engines no longer use meta tags, but some make use of them so it is still worthwhile using these.

- Try to make sure that the first occurance of readable text on your page contains your keywords

- Ensure that your keywords are mentioned in the initial paragraph of your page

- Use your keywords throughout the text of your page - but be careful not to overdo this. Your page should still be readable by humans!

- Use your keywords between the headline tags on your page (”H1″ tags or H2/H3 if H1 is too big)

- Occasionally bold or italicise your keywords

- Make sure that links pointing back to each page on your site contain the keywords for each page

- Give all your images an “ALT” tag and put your keywords in here too - again, don’t overdo this

- Try to put some of your keywords in your outbound links

(3) Start Linking

One of the most important criteria in getting a good search engine ranking is the number of backlinks you have to your website from related websites.

Type in your chosen keywords to Yahoo or Google and take note of the top 3 sites returned to you.

Now go to Link Popularity Checker and put the URLs of the top three sites into the linking tool, along the URL of your own site.

Have a look at the difference between your site and the top 3 sites and this will give you an idea of how many links you need in order to get a top search engine ranking for these keywords.

The best ways to get links back to your site are:

- By writing articles related to the subject of your website and getting them published on the internet

- Reciprocal Linking with other related websites

- Posting on newsgroups and forums that allow you to have a signature attached to your posting (with your uRL in it)

- Submitting your site to directories.

Try to make sure that the anchor text (clickable text) that links back to your site contains your keywords.

(4) Add Content Regularly

Another thing you may have noticed is that top ranking websites have lots of content.

Regularly updating your website and adding fresh content will also help your site to rank more highly in the search engines.

If you don’t have time to create your own unique content there are plenty free articles available Just type “Free website content” into Google and you’ll have your pick of the 18 million results that it returns to you!

To improve your ranking, follow steps 1 and 2 above and repeat steps 3 and 4 regularly.

Suzanne Morrison is the webmaster and owner of http://www.homebiz-direct.com To learn more about how to promote your website visit her Beginner’s Guide to Internet Marketing

Hip-Hop has historically existed as a male-dominated industry. Being a reflection of urban life and struggle, past Hip-Hop artists have been forced to maintain a certain level of masculinity in order to be accepted by their urban communities. Old school rappers who talked about love were often viewed as soft or corny. Because of this perception, the existence of love in Hip-Hop is a fairly new concept.

As the movement has gained support and recognition throughout the world, love has become an increasingly common theme in Hip-Hop music and poetry. However, the taboo still exists. Even today, Hip-Hop artists and poets present their love stories in a manner that allows them to maintain socially acceptable identities. Hip-Hop stories about love must still meet the masculine ideology in which the movement is rooted in order to be perceived as real and true.

The purpose of this study is to analyze Hip-Hop love narratives and how artists present these love stories in order to construct socially acceptable identities. I believe personal narratives are closely tied to the construction of identities. It is through personal narratives that people can recount life-changing events, realize socially acceptable behavior and create individual identities.

I have researched and studied several Hip-Hop love songs and analyzed the lyrics as text and poetry. In my research, I have found five common narrative forms used by Hip-Hop poets to tell their love stories: contrasting, perceptual, spiritual, conversational and metaphoric. These five narrative forms are used not only to present the story correctly, but also to maintain positive perception among a society that might view this sensitivity as weak or disrespectable. I plan to demonstrate each of these narrative forms and show how the poets use them to tell their love stories while establishing acceptable identities.

The Contrasting Narrative
One of the most common forms of Hip-Hop love stories is the contrasting narrative. Many artists use Hip-Hop music and poetry to tell stories about the negativity surrounding their urban environments. The contrasting narrative allows the poet to express his or her love story as a contrast to this negativity while constructing an acceptable identity because that negativity is real and understood in urban communities.

A great introductory example to the contrasting narrative would be the following passage from Method Man’s “All I Need”:

Back when I was nothin’
You made a brother feel like he was somethin’
That’s why I’m with you to this day boo no frontin’
Even when the skies were gray
You would rub me on my back and say “Baby it’ll be okay”

In this song, the poet uses the contrasting narrative to show his love for someone who stood by him when “skies were gray.” He speaks of his love interest as someone who helped him get through troubled times, thus providing a positive contrast to his negative surroundings.

Another example of the contrasting love narrative can be seen in this passage from Guru’s “All I Said”:

This world is crazy, she’s supposed to help me stay sane
Supposed to help with the pain, supposed to help me maintain

In this song, Guru uses the contrasting narrative to share his view of what love should be. He admits that his “world is crazy”, and that his love interest is the one person who can make it bearable.

In “She Tried”, Bubba Sparxx uses the contrasting narrative to tell a story that actually recalls his love being there for him when he was in trouble with the law:

A fly country girl, just workin’ them gifts
She’s my queen, was a virgin I guess
But I ain’t never ask and I ain’t never tell
But Betty had the cash every time I went to jail

This song further illustrates the use of contrasting narratives to express love. Though the poet confesses spending a lot of time in jail, Betty was always there to bail him out, again acting as a positive contrast to his troubles
.
The Perceptual Narrative
Another common narrative form of Hip-Hop love stories is the perceptual narrative. Like the contrasting narrative, the perceptual narrative is based around the negativity that surrounds the poet’s life. But instead of presenting this love as a contrast to that negativity, the poet uses this narrative to explain how that love changed his or her previously negative perceptions. This narrative form also allows the poet to construct a socially acceptable identity due to the acknowledgement of the negativity of urban life.

In “Jazzy Belle”, Andre of Outkast uses the perceptual narrative to tell of how his love changed his former perception of women:

Went from yellin’ crickets and crows, witches and hoes to queen thangs
Over the years I been up on my toes and yes I seen thangs …
Now I’m willin’ to go the extra kilo-
Meter just to see my senorita get her pillow
On the side of my bed where no girl ever stay
House and doctor was the games we used to play
But now it’s real Jazzy Belle…

In this song, Andre talks about a personal change of perception caused by love. He admits that at one time he thought of women as “witches and hoes.” But “now it’s real”, and he has a new perception of women as “queen thangs.”
Another great example of the perceptual narrative can be found in the following passage of Black Star’s “Brown Skin Lady”:

I don’t get many compliments, but I am confident
Used to have a complex about, gettin’ too complex
You got me, willin’ to try, looked me in the eye
My head is still in the sky, since you walked on by

In this example, the poet admits to having relationship issues, but tells of how love helped him to overcome these issues. The poet’s love interest helped him to change his perception of love and fear of “gettin’ too complex”
.
In “Ms. Fat Booty”, Mos Def further illustrates this point by demonstrating the perception of other men and speaking to his love on how he is different:

Yo, let me apologize for the other night
I know it wasn’t right, but baby you know what it’s like
Some brothers don’t be comin’ right
I understand, I’m feelin’ you
Besides, ‘Can I have a dance?’ ain’t really that original

In this song, the poet uses the perceptual narrative to acknowledge that some men “don’t be comin’ right”, but that he has a different perception of women than these other men.

In “Come Close”, Common uses the perceptual narrative to express how love has made him change from his old ways:

I want to build a tribe wit you
Protect and provide for you
Truth is I can’t hide from you
The pimp in me
May have to die with you

Although the poet used to be a “pimp”, an urban term for a man who romances a large number of women, he tells of how his love interest has changed his actions and perceptions.

The Spiritual Narrative
A third common form of Hip-Hop love stories is what I like to refer to as the spiritual narrative. The spiritual narrative relies on the poet’s characterization of love as a kind of godly being, spiritual force or royalty, often with the feeling that the story teller has to protect that force. The spiritual narrative allows the storyteller to construct an acceptable identity by characterizing love as spiritual or perhaps even predetermined.

A great example of the spiritual narrative can be found in this passage of The Roots’ “You Got Me”:

Somebody told me that this planet was small
We use to live in the same building on the same floor
And never met before
Until I’m overseas on tour
And peep this Ethiopian queen from Philly
Taking classes abroad

Here, the poet uses the spiritual narrative to describe the time, place and emotions that his love was founded on, speaking of them as if they were somehow meant to happen. He also refers to his love interest as “this Ethiopian queen from Philly”, using the royal characterization so common in spiritual love narratives.

In “Love Language”, Talib Kweli also uses a spiritual narrative form and refers to his love as a kind of royalty:

Now if they call you out your name
Then that’s a different thing
Anything but Queen
I’ll go to war like a King

This example shows the protection aspect of common spiritual love narratives. The poet feels it is unacceptable for anyone to “call you out your name”, or in other words, use derogatory language toward his love. If someone were to do so, he would “go to war like a King”, thus maintaining his masculinity.

In “Mind Sex”, Dead Prez uses the spiritual narrative to talk about love introductions:

African princess, tell me yo’ interests
Wait, let me guess boo, you probably like poetry
Here’s a little something I jotted down in case I spotted you around
So let me take this opportunity

In this song, the poet uses the spiritual narrative to tell a story about the introductory conversation he had with a love interest. He refers to her as “African princess”, once again showing the tendency of poets who use the spiritual narrative to refer to their love interests as royalty.

The Conversational Narrative
The fourth common form for Hip-Hop love stories is the conversational narrative. The conversational narrative allows the poet to recite or recreate a conversation with his or her love and present it as play-like story about a specific love experience. Conversational love narratives are typically characterized by introductory speech and compliments, and are most commonly used as tools to tell a story about a first meeting or impression. These narratives allow the storyteller to construct an acceptable identity mainly because they often include many smoothly-structured compliments, and make the poet look like a cool ladies man.

A great example of the conversational love narrative can be found this passage from Dead Prez’ previously mentioned “Mind Sex”:

Pardon me love but you seem like my type
What you doin’ tonight?
You should stop by the site
We could, roll some weed play some records and talk
I got a fly spot downtown Brooklyn, New York

In this example, the poet is reciting the conversation between himself and a love interest. As with many conversational narratives, it is based around meeting someone for the first time. The poet is telling a story about a girl he met that “seem[ed] like my type”. He then inquires “What you doin’ tonight?”, and follows with a list of charming speech in an attempt to create a social relationship with the girl.

In a similar narrative, “Beautiful Skin”, Goodie Mob uses the following conversational narrative to retell the first phone conversation he had with his love interest:

This is Carlito from a couple of days ago, you sound tired
Forgive me if I’ve called you too late
But what better time to relate mind-states?
Where could I begin?
Has anyone ever told you ‘You got beautiful skin’?

This example further illustrates the use of introductory language in conversational narratives. The poet asks his love interest if she would like to “relate mind-states”, or get to know each other. He then tells her that she has “beautiful skin”, an often successful introductory complement given to women.

Cee Lo uses the following conversational narrative in “Slum Beautiful”:

Look at you, unbelievably, brilliant beautiful you
You’re looking deliciously divine darling you really and truly do
The very thought of has got me running at the speed of love
Exploring everything about you from the ground to the God above

In this song, the poet uses the conversational narrative to speak directly to his love interest through the song. Note the wide range of compliments offered in this passage, as well as the charm, again illustrating a common aspect of the conversational narrative.

The Metaphoric Narrative
This fifth form of Hip-Hop love stories is possibly the most fascinating. It is the metaphoric narrative. The metaphoric narrative is used when the poet speaks of love in a metaphor of some kind. The most popular and socially acceptable form of metaphoric narrative is using Hip-Hop as the metaphor. Many followers of the movement view Hip-Hop as a driving force of love and happiness in their lives. Thus, many metaphoric love narratives revolve around Hip-Hop itself.

A good example of such a metaphoric narrative is the following passage from Black Eyed Peas’ “Rap Song”:

Yo, she got hips to hop
And she ain’t goin’ pop
She like a record that I wanna rock
When I’m rollin’ in my ride cruisin’ down my block

In this example, the poet actually uses a unique play on words and speaks of a love interest as a Hip-Hop metaphor. He relates this person to “a record that I wanna rock”.

The group further extends the metaphor in the following passage:

She like a beat that makes me wanna grab the mic
She like the lyrics that I wanna recite
She like the old school mic with the cable
You can bring your records and I’ll bring the turntable

Again, the poet relates his love interest to other things he and his audience love, including “old school mic with the cable”, reciting lyrics and spinning records on a turntable.

Another great example of the metaphoric narrative is in The Roots’ “Act Too … Love of My Life”:

Learnin’ the ropes of ghetto survival
Peepin’ out the situation I had to slide through
Had to watch my back my front plus my sides too
When it came to gettin’ mine I ain’t tryin’ to argue
Sometimes I wouldn’ta made it if it wasn’t for you
Hip-Hop, you the love of my life and that’s true

This passage is unique because it utilizes both the metaphoric and contrasting narrative techniques. The poet refers to Hip-Hop as “the love of my life”, while simultaneously showing how that love created a positive contrast to the tough “ropes of ghetto survival”. The poet admits that he “wouldn’ta made it if it wasn’t for you”, showing that his love for Hip-Hop was and is a driving force in his life.

And that leads us to the most popular metaphoric Hip-Hop love narrative of our time. In “I Used to Love H.E.R.”, Common Sense uses the metaphoric narrative to express his love for Hip-Hop. He starts off the narrative with the following passage:

I met this girl, when I was ten years old
And what I loved most she had so much soul
She was old school, when I was just a shorty
Never knew throughout my life she would be there for me

In this example, the poet starts off telling a story about a girl he met when he “was ten years old”, and how she was always there for him. The poet continues to use the metaphoric narrative to speak of this girl, including the good times and hardships they faced together. Not until the end of the poem does the listener actually realize that the entire song is a metaphor. The song ends with the following passage:

I see rappers slammin’ her, and takin’ her to the sewer
But I’ma take her back hopin’ that the stuff stop
Cause who I’m talkin’ bout y’all is Hip-Hop

In this song, the poet used the metaphoric narrative to tell a story about the love of his life, the struggles she faced, and his desire to save her. In the end, he admits that this love is not a real person, but instead his love of Hip-Hop.

The presentation of Hip-Hop love narratives is a very difficult task. In order to talk about love and still construct a socially acceptable urban identity, artists tend to implement one of the five successful love narrative forms. I believe that our society’s analysis of Hip-Hop music and culture is lackluster at best. The Hip-Hop love narratives presented above could provide a great basis for linguistic and sociolinguistic studies. Not only are they presented in a variety of styled narrative forms, but they also include deep thought, perception and analysis of the urban environment that characterizes an increasing majority of American society. Through the analysis and study of these love narratives, linguists could come to a greater understanding of and appreciation for the Hip-Hop vernacular, literature and, ultimately, culture.

Works Cited / Discography
A Tribe Called Quest. People’s Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm. Jive Records, 1990.
Black Eyed Peas. Bridging the Gap. Interscope Records, 2000.
Black Star. Mos Def & Talib Kweli are Black Star. Rawkus Records, 1998.
Bubba Sparxx. Deliverance. Interscope Records, 2003.
Common. Electric Circus. MCA Records, 2002.
Common Sense. Resurrection. Relativity Records, 1994.
Dead Prez. Let’s Get Free. Relativity Records, 2000.
Goodie Mob. Still Standing. La Face Records, 1998.
Guru. Jazzmatazz Streetsoul Vol. 3. Virgin Records, 2000.
Method Man. Tical. Def Jam Records, 1994.
Mos Def. Black on Both Sides. Priority Records, 1999.
Outkast. ATLiens. La Face Records, 1996.
Outkast. Stankonia. La Face Records, 2003.
Talib Kweli & DJ Hi-Tek. Train of Thought. Rawkus Records, 2000.
The Roots. Things Fall Apart. MCA Records, 1999.

Nathaniel Long is the creator and editor of Hip Hop Linguistics, a website dedicated to studying, interpreting and understanding hip-hop music, language, philosophy and culture. You can read more articles and reviews at www.hiphoplinguistics.com/?Hip_Hop_Album_Reviews.

The process of applying for a business loan is a stringent one as compared to the standard procedures in obtaining a home mortgage loan or a personal loan. This is probably due to the fact that business loans contain a greater risk element as compared to other loans. Therefore, lenders need to exercise greater caution and emphasis when evaluating business loan applications in order to minimize their risk exposure.

With that, lenders evaluate their applicants based on the information that are provided as well as their judgment of the viability and profitability of the business being financed. Thus, business loan applicants will be required to submit a loan proposal along with their applications with the purpose of creating a positive impression upon the lender.

The first element of a loan proposal is an executive summary, providing short descriptions of the type of business and the industry, the purpose and usage of the loan, the proposed repayment conditions as well as the intended loan period. After that, the company information is provided, enriching the reader with the nature of the business, the location of the business, company history, the products or services provided, key differentiation factors of the company or the product, the general growth of the industry, competitive information, growth potential and target customers.

It would help if you could include your company marketing strategy, detailed product information, historical information as well as projected growth plans for the company. Apart from that, if you plan to incorporate product or service extensions in the future, you should provide these descriptions within your loan proposal. If possible, geographical expansion plans will help in the proposal.

The next area that needs to be showcased in the proposal would be the credentials and experience of each member of the management team. Impressive credentials will provide assurance to the lender that the company is managed by individuals who are responsible and capable. This is important as having the wrong people managing the company could be detrimental for the business.

In any loan application, historical records are essential to be used in evaluating the performance of a company. As new companies do not yet have these records, the financial records of the owners will be used as the basis of evaluation. Income tax returns forms are also required by lenders. All of these records provided should be the latest copies less than 90 days old, with the exception of the income tax returns form.

If the loan is applied for an existing company in active operations, company financial statements, including profit and loss accounts, balance sheets and the net worth reconciliation record should be included in the loan proposal. Again, all of this information should also be the latest and less than 90 days old. Additionally, a listing of accounts receivables and other short term and long term debt should be attached.

On the other hand, if the loan application is submitted for a new business, a pro-forma balance sheet and profit and loss account should be provided. Apart from that, a cash flow projection for the upcoming year is drafted to indicate the possibility of recovering the debt. This also means that projected revenue, profits, costs incurred and expenditure should be listed out with definite explanations provided as well as a list of assumptions.

If you possess assets that you wish to use as collateral for your loan, details for this should be provided to the lender as well. It is often common for lenders to request for dual sources of repayment in the event that one source is defaulted. This means that if the business owner defaults on his repayments, the collateral can be sold in order to recover debt.

Finally, other documents normally required for a loan application would be items like the article of incorporation, lease agreements, partnership agreements, license, references, etc. As the list of required documentation, information and attachments differs between lenders, it is best to check with the individual lender on their specific information and documents required to be attached with the loan proposal.

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The origins of the game of basketball can be traced back to a
gentleman by the name of Dr. James Naismith. In 1861, Naismith
was born in Almonte, Ontario, Canada. During his early school
days, Naismith would play a game called duck on a rock whereby
the child would endeavor to knock the duck off the top of the
rock with a toss of another rock.

Later on, Naismith would go on to McGill University in Montreal
and would later become McGill University’s Athletic Director. He
would subsequently move on to YMCA Training School in
Springfield, Massachusetts and in 1891, the game of basketball
began.

Given the cold Massachusetts winters, Naismith needed to find a
recreational activity that could be played indoors and he
preferred a sport that would develop skill and one that was not
exclusively relying on strength. The first game was played with
two peach baskets for goals and a soccer ball.

Further to his credit, Naismith became a medical doctor
specializing in sports physiology and a Presbyterian minister.
Naismith was able to see his beloved sport of basketball, gain
acceptance in numerous countries through the YMCA since 1893. As
well, the sport of basketball was brought forth at the Berlin
Olympics in 1936. As we speak, the game of basketball has become
a very popular sport.